Let’s talk about Spider-Man: No Way Home, and let’s be honest—the whole “we didn’t get into MIT, so the world is over” meltdown? It was a lot. Yes, Peter, MJ, and Ned getting denied from college felt devastating, but this is 2024, not 1984. Why did everyone act like the only options were “go to MIT” or “suffer forever”? You’re telling me three teenagers who just survived a multiverse-level event, helped save the fabric of reality, and one of them is literally Spider-Man, had no backup plan? Like, not even an application to SUNY?
Let’s start with the obvious: online college is a thing. You don’t even need magic to Google “accredited universities that accept late applications.” Peter Parker could have enrolled in ASU Online while swinging through Queens and taking notes on his phone between fights. MJ could have studied psychology, Ned could have gone into tech. Heck, Peter’s already used to working from rooftops and alleyways—distance learning was made for him.
But okay, let’s say traditional college isn’t the vibe anymore. What about trade school? Imagine Spider-Man becoming an electrician, webbing things together while rewiring the city. He already fixed Stark Tech in like five minutes—he’d be a god at HVAC repair. Or MJ, who’s an artist and writer? Art school. She could’ve done graphic novels or film. Ned? Culinary school. I just feel like Ned gives big “surprise you with the best homemade ramen you’ve ever had” energy. But none of this even got mentioned.
And look—they had the internet. They could’ve researched schools in other countries, other states, or ones that weren’t scared off by the whole “Spider-Man is a vigilante menace maybe??” thing. Are you telling me there wasn’t a single progressive liberal arts college in Oregon that would’ve been thrilled to admit Peter Parker just for the viral potential?
And here’s another thing: in the real world, we have apps and websites dedicated to tracking corporate and institutional stances on controversial issues. Want to know if a fast food chain donated to anti-LGBTQ campaigns? There’s an app for that. Curious if a brand supported Black Lives Matter or banned union talk? There’s a dozen Reddit threads, rating lists, and activist toolkits. So you’re telling me that in the Marvel Cinematic Universe—the same world with Wakandan tech, nanobots, intergalactic travel, and sentient AI—they don’t have an app that tracks which businesses or colleges support Spider-Man?
Please. There’d be an entire “SpideyScore” app. Five stars if your business is Spider-friendly, one star if your CEO once called him a “masked menace.” There would be restaurants with “Spider-Man Eats Free” signs. Coffee shops with themed drinks like “Webbed White Mocha.” Colleges with entire departments dedicated to superhero studies (Peter could’ve been a guest lecturer!). And we’re supposed to believe that he couldn’t find one school that looked at the situation and said, “Yeah, we’ll take a superhero who risked his life to fix a multiversal rupture and is also, by the way, extremely smart?”
MJ and Ned could’ve used that app to filter schools by “superhero-friendly,” “non-J. Jonah Jameson influenced,” and “accepts unconventional applicants with chaotic lives and good intentions.” Even Reddit would’ve had a thread like: “What schools support Spider-Man?” complete with insider tips, screenshots, and a spreadsheet. The idea that they were all just…sitting around devastated instead of googling “schools that don’t hate Spider-Man” is kinda wild.
And the fan support? Forget about it. There would be Spidey Support Forums, subreddits, Discord servers, fan zines, even underground clubs where people wear Spider-Man merch in solidarity. If people can build entire conspiracy communities over lizard people and the moon landing, they can absolutely organize to support a misunderstood teen superhero. And Peter could’ve tapped into that—not just emotionally, but logistically. Housing, job leads, safety nets, scholarships crowdfunded by the people.
Now, let’s talk about Peter’s… career potential in a digital world. This man could’ve made millions with a Twitch stream. “Watch me fight Doc Ock in 4K.” He didn’t need Stark Industries—he needed a ring light and a donation link. Or hey, GofundMe. He literally saved the world multiple times. Start a campaign: “Spider-Man Needs Rent Money.” Boom. Viral in five seconds. TikTok would have his back. He could’ve even gotten sponsored by like…Red Bull and the New York Public Library. “Drink Red Bull. Fight crime. Read books.”
But the biggest question: Where were his Avengers friends? Not a single one of them could write a recommendation letter? I’m not saying Thor needs to show up at the admissions office, but someone could’ve vouched for him. Happy? Sam Wilson? Doctor Strange?? Strange literally helped create the spell that erased Peter from existence. You’re telling me he couldn’t swing a call to MIT’s admissions office with, “Hey, he stopped a multiversal collapse and let me cast one of the most dangerous spells ever to save everyone. Maybe reconsider the rejection?”
It’s wild that the entire plot hinges on this college rejection like it’s a Greek tragedy. Meanwhile, millions of real-world kids get rejected from their dream schools every year and somehow don’t break reality. Peter could’ve taken a gap year. Done community college. Gotten a job at Target while figuring it out. Or, you know—leaned on the many, many superheroes he knows who owe him their lives.
Ultimately, “No Way Home” wanted us to feel Peter’s pain, and it worked. But it also ignored a very real-world truth: when the system fails people, communities often rise up to support them. Peter Parker didn’t need a spell—he needed a support app, an internet connection, and some well-placed community DMs.
