Tag: experiences

So, this year has been quite the interesting year so far, and we’re only 8 days into it! Recently, there were some tensions between the US and Iran (which could still possibly continue well into the future) that had the potential to cause World War III! Admittedly, I was scared; really scared. I was so scared that I thought I was going to die. I thought that my friends and family were going to die. I thought that innocent people who had nothing to do with the tensions between the two nations were going to die. I was scared for a lot of people. It felt as though the weight of the world was on my shoulders! Usually, I am an optimistic individual, but when it comes to the possibility of imminent death, the possibility of losing everyone I know and love, I begin to break down. I was so scared these past few days for the people of the world that I had insomnia, stomach cramps, increased heart rate, and increased breathing rate! It was bad! I thought I was going to have a panic attack due to how much stress I was feeling!

I had originally made plans to not use social media for the entirety of January, but after hearing about the possibility of an all-out war, I felt I needed to say something! I felt as though my life, the lives of people I care about, and the lives of countless individuals, were on the line! I felt as though it was my duty, my obligation, to speak out against the prospect of going to war with Iran. The last things I had wanted were for me to get drafted and for my loved ones, along with innocent people, to perish in a conflict between two (or possibly more) nations! I was not going to let that shit happen! I was going to use my writing skills to call out the injustices of war! Even if only a few people had read what I wrote, it did not matter to me, because I had felt I was contributing to a greater cause, even if it was to a minute degree! I felt I was a part of a collective, and that I was fighting for something grand; something that was bigger than any one of us by ourselves, and that required our collective effort to combat! In some ways, I felt somewhat heroic. Even though all I did was make comments and share posts on social media, I felt that my actions were having an impact! In some ways, it felt exhilarating! At the same time, though, it was also scary. It was scary because I feared losing the people who I care about most in my life.

For a lot of people (at least in America, anyways), when they lose someone, they usually have a comfort. They have religion. They have an afterlife to look forward to, and they have their deity/deities and loved ones looking down on them; at least, that’s what they believe! For me, though, not so much. For me, as an atheist, I don’t have the luxury to believe any of that! I don’t have an afterlife to look forward to. I don’t have deities and loved ones looking down on me. All I have to ultimately look forward to is my death, and the death of my loved ones! Once we’re gone, that’s it! We’re done! No more! The end! Lights out! Finito! From my perspective as an atheist, once a person is gone, they’re gone! There’s no coming back. Their consciousness ceases. Their body stops working. They stop existing! To a lot of people, that’s depressing, but to me, that’s just reality. Our world is full of unfairness and cruelty, and that’s just a part of life. It is depressing, but that is just the way things are. In this universe, we are nothing. We are just a blip on a spec on a dot within a sea of chaos and uncertainty! The universe is a chaotic place, and it does not care what happens to any of us. At any moment of any day, it could conceive life just as easily as it can take life away. Nothing lasts forever in this universe. No person lasts forever. One moment we’re here, and the next moment we’re gone! We don’t know when our time is going to be, but when it’s our time, it’s our time, and there is no going back! For some people, such a concept may be hard to accept, but for me, I, for the most part, have accepted it. I have accepted that once I’m gone, I’m never coming back. Sure, I may not know 100% whether there is or isn’t an afterlife, but to me, I’ve seen no evidence. All I see is what we have now. All I see is the world around us, and the people living in this world. Beyond that, I’m clueless, but I am not going to worry about what is or isn’t out there after we die, because to me, we won’t know the answer until after that happens, so why worry about it? Why worry about the possibility of an afterlife existing when you don’t know for sure, and can’t prove it either way? To me, there’s a lot more pertinent things to worry about, like trying to make the world a better place for people to live in! Even though I may not believe in a God, I do believe that it is our responsibility to make the world a better place. We’re here on this Earth, and we’re the ones who make the decisions in this world, so we decide whether or not we want this world to be a world worth living for!

I may not ever go back to being religious, because to me, I’ve become too skeptical of it. I’ve become skeptical of a lot of things, for that matter! To me, in a world full of liars, cheaters, and manipulators, it is hard to believe anything, or anyone, in this world! It is hard to find people who are honest, people who are caring, people who are kind, people who are loyal, people who are trustworthy, people who are compassionate, people who are loving, people who are empathetic, and people who are selfless, but when I do, I hold onto them. I hold onto them, and cherish every waking moment that I have with them, because one day, they will be gone! Thus, I try to appreciate the people who are in my life, and I try to live my life to the fullest, and live it as though each day were my last!