HBO Max, or should I say Max, or maybe HBO Max again? At this point, the streaming service’s identity crisis is more dramatic than the plot of any of its hit series. The latest twist in this saga is the announcement that Max is—wait for it—reverting back to HBO Max. After spending a mere two years as “Max,” Warner Bros. Discovery has decided, in a move that could only be described as “just kidding,” that the world really needs that beloved HBO branding back. And while the marketing team behind this rollercoaster ride of a name change might be hoping for a fresh, “this is what the people want” type of narrative, it honestly feels more like watching someone with commitment issues trying to pick out a pair of shoes for 30 minutes, only to decide none of them are quite right.
Imagine living in a universe where a giant corporation can’t even commit to a name. If HBO Max were a person, it would probably be the friend who swears they’re cutting out carbs this week but then orders an entire pizza with extra cheese because “this is the last time.” It’s the streaming equivalent of being “in a relationship but also seeing other people,” with HBO Max simultaneously wanting to be both the high-quality content platform and everything to everyone. It’s like they’re trying to be the Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, and Peacock of the world—all while wearing the same “HBO” t-shirt. But then, in the ultimate twist of irony, they decided to throw it all out and—you guessed it—bring back the name they had in the first place.
So, what’s next? Are they going to take it up a notch and just call themselves “M”? Maybe a single, enigmatic letter is the future of branding. “M” could mean anything, but in a world of oversaturation, it might just be the most fittingly minimalist identity yet. It’s subtle, sleek, and leaves plenty to the imagination. Or perhaps, just to be even more avant-garde, it’ll evolve into an emoji. Imagine: a single streaming service that’s a tiny blue square with a white “H” inside, and that’s it. That’s the future—branding for the post-names era. Who needs words when you have symbols, right?
If HBO Max really wants to go all-in on this, maybe the next iteration will be something even more obscure: Wingdings. Picture it now: an entire streaming service, run on nothing but unintelligible symbols. Maybe “HBO Max” will start with one Wingding character, then switch to a whole string of characters, leaving subscribers to decode what content they’re watching. Could it be a cult classic series? A blockbuster film? No one knows—until they decode it.
And yet, the most absurd part of this ongoing name drama is that it makes Chidi from The Good Place look like a confident Chad Alpha. For those who don’t remember Chidi, he’s the neurotic philosopher who can’t make a decision to save his life—someone who might still be debating whether to eat cereal or toast in the morning. If Chidi were in charge of naming HBO Max, it’d be a 45-minute existential crisis every time they rebranded. Meanwhile, the Warner Bros. Discovery execs are over here flipping through the corporate version of “Pick a Name” Bingo, uncertain if they want to be “Max” today or “HBO Max,” because—let’s face it—they can’t commit to anything. Not even something as basic as the name of their streaming service. So, yes, Chidi may be paralyzed by his indecision, but at least he wouldn’t make everyone watch a marketing department have an existential meltdown on national television.
What’s the takeaway here? Well, HBO Max—or whatever it’s calling itself next month—might need to take a long, hard look at what it wants to be when it grows up. Is it HBO, or is it Max? Is it everything or just something distinct and great? Because right now, they’re stuck in a quantum loop of naming decisions, where the past and future are both collapsing into the same chaotic branding black hole. And until they figure it out, we’ll just be left here, watching their ongoing struggle, as it makes us appreciate Chidi’s decision-making prowess more than ever.